I guess if you want inspired children, you have to give them an adventure to get inspired about.

This is where all the most interesting stuff to read gets put out first. Yes, really. You guys go on without me! I'm going to go… look for more stuff to steal! My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd. Meh. Say what? I'm a thing. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!

The forest can be dark. Dark enough to see your light shine bright.

Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! I don't know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. And remember, don't do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!

1. Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets!
2. That could be 'my' beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
3. Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.

And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you?

Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually! What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! 'It is!' My precious torso! She also liked to shut up! Hey, whatcha watching?

• You are the last hope of the universe.
• I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn't make sense.
• Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man.

I'm Santa Claus! What are their names? Shinier than yours, meatbag. Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped. Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.

Can I use the gun? Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Fatal. Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be…

But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. Tell them I hate them. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase.

Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'!

I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. Fry! Stay back! He's too powerful! Shut up and get to the point! We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera. Ven ve voke up, ve had zese wodies.

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? Are you crazy? I can't swallow that. We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera. What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! 'It is!' My precious torso!

File not found. Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?

Can we have Bender Burgers again? What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! 'It is!' My precious torso! Okay, I like a challenge. Good man. Nixon's pro-war and pro-family. That could be 'my' beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.

Our love isn't any different from yours, except it's hotter, because I'm involved. You know, I was God once. Look, everyone wants to be like Germany, but do we really have the pure strength of 'will'? And I'm his friend Jesus.

No. We're on the top. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock. Ooh, name it after me! Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news! You guys go on without me! I'm going to go… look for more stuff to steal!

There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Ummm…to eBay? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own! Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?

When I was first asked to make a film about The Field, I thought "Why should I?" Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more ploughing through the deep issues we all need to face. Roll film!

Why would I want to know that? Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought "Why should I?" Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can bet there would have been more topless women on motorcycles. Roll film!

1. Leela's gonna kill me.
2. I guess because my parents keep telling me to be more ladylike. As though!
3. Who are those horrible orange men?

This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me!

Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker. File not found. Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."

• Oh no! The professor will hit me! But if Zoidberg 'fixes' it… then perhaps gifts!
• That's a popular name today. Little "e", big "B"?
• Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!

THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN! And from now on you're all named Bender Jr. Belligerent and numerous. I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger.

I wish! It's a nickel. Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. Bender, you risked your life to save me! Why would I want to know that?

Yeah, lots of people did. Who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere? Say it in Russian! For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored.

No, just a regular mistake. I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'!

Hey, what kinda party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker. If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don't wanna be right. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Wow, you got that off the Internet? In my day, the Internet was only used to download pornography. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?

Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? Moving along… I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.

Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase.

Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way? No! Don't jump! Why did you bring us here? Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be…

Aww, it's true. I've been hiding it for so long. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I'm going to come back there and change your opinions manually!

With gusto. As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. Do a flip! As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead.

Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home.

Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Bite my shiny metal ass. And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. I don't want to be rescued. Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas!They work here in the Slurm factory.

You, minion. Grab my bag. TO THE HOUSE!

What's with you kids? Every other day it's food, food, food. Alright, I'll get you some stupid food. A sexy mistake. There's no part of that sentence I didn't like! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!

1. And why did 'I' have to take a cab?
2. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk!
3. Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!

Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died.

Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! We don't have a brig. Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? And until then, I can never die?

• My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.
• Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
• No, I'm Santa Claus!

We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera. Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! When will that be? Okay, it's 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can't hold the charge and the reception isn't very…

Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?! I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault! Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think?

Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died. Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head." One hundred dollars. Look, last night was a mistake.

Actually, that's still true. I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there! No argument here. You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?

That's not soon enough! Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? I'm a thing. Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?

I'll get my kit! Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments." Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets? Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?

Ugh, it's filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we're at it? I love this planet! I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. That could be 'my' beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing.

I mean 'physically'. Look at those hills? Practically mountains from where we are now. And we're going to the top. You and I.

It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase. Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!

1. You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing.
2. I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy!
3. Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood!

Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me! But I've never been to the moon! Large bet on myself in round one. Too much work. Let's burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer. Leela's gonna kill me.

• I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money.
• Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men.
• Well I'da done better, but it's plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

Take me to your leader! I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. You can crush me but you can't crush my spirit! WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!

In your time, yes, but nowadays shut up! Besides, these are adult stemcells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults whom I killed for their stemcells. Bender, you risked your life to save me! And I'm his friend Jesus.

Moving along… You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites? Bender?! You stole the atom. I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money.

In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms. Can I use the gun? Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? OK, this has gotta stop. I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can.

Meh. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! A true inspiration for the children.

That's the ONLY thing about being a slave. No, I'm Santa Claus! Bender, we're trying our best. Well, thanks to the Internet, I'm now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?

We can't compete with Mom! Her company is big and evil! Ours is small and neutral! It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too. We don't have a brig. And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet.

Oh, I think we should just stay friends. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! Also Zoidberg. Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file!

We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home. There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Say it in Russian! Tell her she looks thin.

Oh Leela! You're the only person I could turn to; you're the only person who ever loved me. You, a bobsleder!? That I'd like to see! Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault! Calculon is gonna kill us and it's all everybody else's fault!

It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with some very bad news!